I feel like I am constantly worrying that H is going to loose his job. He just can't handle going to work. I try in the morning to wake him when I get back from taking the kids to school. Mondays seem to be the hardest. If things go well he gets up and goes. If not he either snarls "Leave me alone" or gets up and goes to his computer where he sits and plays his stupid video game all freaken day. I try to urge him through out the day getting "Yes, I am going can I eat breakfast first" (If he goes to work he eats his breakfast at work) So I bring him done his breakfast that I fixed that morning, he eats and plays. An hour latter I will ask "So what are your plans for today?" I will get a I' am going to work. a couple hours latter I will mention work again and he will reply can you bring me my lunch first? A while latter I ask "How can I help you go to work?" in return he shrugs.
Why is it so hard to go to work we all have things we have to do, I don't perticularly love laundry, dirty dishes, stinky pants, helping children with homework for hours on end but it has to be done. Why can't H go to work. As an electrical Engineer he makes enough money to support the family. Things are tighter now with that we are in the midst of the "great recession" but he can support the family. My degree is worthless when it comes to getting a job I can get a minimum wage job not enough to support the family. And what am I suppose to do with my two little ones? I know when my baby goes to school I will need to go to work but until then what do I do. I can't leave them home with him it would be the same as leaving the 4 year old to babysit, and that is not doable.
everything is tied in with H's job all the life insurance, pension everything if he gets fired it is all gone. My greatest fear is he will get fired and then on his way home kill himself. I will be left with nothing and have to try and support my 8 children we will loose the house and be on the streets.
I recently found a web sight that helps you get benefits when you loose your job because of depression maybe it will help some one else. https://www.allsup.com/apply/depression.aspx?SessionCode=1021&Keyword=major%20depression&MATCHTYPE=search&gclid=CMe4g5-Fxq0CFQ5lhwodoHNQCA
The only thing I wish is that it could help you if you had a job so you could go part time and then be able to financially make it. This is only if you are fired because your depression is so bad you are not preforming your job.
I love my Hubby with all my heart, but sometimes there is a part of my that hate what he is doing to our family. I wish depressed people could see how self absorbed they are and try to think of others once in a while. I know I can not do much, I am so worried if I do the slightest wrong thing he will go and commit suicide it is all he ever talks about. He makes promises to the kids and breaks them leaving me to pick up the pieces because he just can't do it. He so often ignores the family because he just can't handle the little things (Like eating with us, doing any family time. And he refuses to help with home work scouts or anything else I sometimes really wish he was more my husband and partner then he is. I always feel guilty because I am his wife there should be something I could do ti help him. I have wondered if he would have been happier if he would have married a better person then me. I know he loves me and I love him but why is that not enough?
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